Diets, Mcdonalds and Heffers

I am reposting this here so that my bitchy friend doesnt jack my shit again!

Thursday, June 24, 2004
I am on a diet. Not one of those real ones mind you. One that I made up. I finally got to the point where I decided that I want to get a decent body while I still can. And rather than be like most people who are content sitting in front of their televisions eating ice cream and pizza I am doing something about it. Actually its not so much those people that bother me. The people that bother me are the ones that do that and sue McDonalds for them being fat.


Listen up you heffers. You are fat because you do not exercise. You are fat because you have made McDonalds a daily part of your diet. Have you even bothered to look at their nutritional information? Not even their SALADS are healthy! They post it on their website for all to see. So the 'I didn't know' excuse is null and void.


No no. Don't give me that crap that by the time you get home from work you don't have the energy to cook something. My parents would come home from their backbreaking jobs, (and I'm not talking about cushy office jobs, i'm talking about scrubbing a floor or factory type jobs) and make dinner for their three kids. Sometimes they would take turns; sometimes one would start it and the other would finish it. The point is dinner was always made. McD's was a TREAT for us. We got that once every two weeks if we were lucky.


I try and remind myself of that every day when I try and tell myself fast food is just five minutes away. And for the most part, it works. I come home from work, tired or not and make dinner. Even on gym days(where I go to directly after work) I still come home and make dinner.


Listen if you are a heffer on your own that's fine. But don't blame Mcdonalds. Blame your eating habits and lack of exercise. Blame the bag of chips you have sitting on top of your fridge. And for christsakes if you have kids you'd better start thinking of them and their health.


Fast food is not meant to be part of a daily balanced diet. Its just not. Or bodies are not designed to take in such high amounts of fats, calories, cholesterol, etc on a daily basis.


I had donut today for the first time in about a month and a half. And while it tasted REALLY good I still felt guilty about eating it. Never in my life have I felt guilty about eating a donut. I take that as a good thing though because never in my life have i been this committed to getting in shape and i know that eating that kind of stuff is completely counterproductive to what i'm trying to accomplish.


I understand that movies and magazines constantly show us these completely unrealistic bodies on a neverending basis. They are airbrushed, liposucked(patent pending word) calf/pec/breast implanted. They are not natural. I'll tell you what though, having a gut that hangs over your belt isnt natural. Having so much fat on your underarms so that when you clap, a second clap is heard, isnt natural either.


The whole point is to find some sort of balance. To set a goal and attain it. To not blame fast food for your own inadequacies.




True Story:
So i'm at the gym the other day and I'm adding my sister to my plan. (though i'm thinking her gym card will do nothing more than add a new shade of blue to her card collection) And i see chart there for body fat percentage. For my age it said something like under 12 percent was excellent, 14-17% was good, 18-25 was average and over was 25% was Damn Gina. So i ask the guy if those numbers are right and he asks me if i want to measure mine and i say sure. So he takes my height and weight and feeds them into a machine which i then hold on to.


and what did it say you ask?






8.4%


That's right bitches.


8.4%


He asked me if i was a professional athlete. I said no. I've just been exercising and dieting for about 4 months.




That's right bitches.


8.4%


That's right.













Disclaimer- the most accurate way is to do a body fat test is with water so the test was probably not exactly accurate. But i seriously doubt it could be more than a few percentage points away.

Well there goes another thing i said i'd never do....

As you, my loyal two readers know, for years and years i could always keep my head up and say i was a stand up guy, true to my word, and fiercly loyal. But lately there have been a few things that, well have caused me to to stray a little.
In some ways i feel like i let myself down, as well as some of you. But i think in time we will hopefully all get passed this and our friendships will continue to move forward.
I guess what i am trying to say is...well...i bought an Xbox. I feel like i should almost be writing this letter to Nintendo directly. It almost feels like the end of an era. I have never in my life owned a system not made by Nintendo until now. I have never owned a system made by Atari, Sega, Coleco, whatever crappy company made the Turbografix 16, Sony, etc. So i guess its been going on...probably 17 or 18 years. (i didnt buy the first nintendo the year it came out.)

In any case i have owned literally almost every product they've ever made.

NES- Gave it to my sister and her bitch of a boyfriend sold it for drug money or something
SNES- Still own it and play it occasionally to this day.
Gameboy- Got stolen
Gameboy Color- Still own it
Nintendo 64- Still own it
Gameboy Advance SP- still own it and use it nearly every day thanks to my new peripheral, the GBA movie player.
Gamecube- play it almost every day

I'm not even counting peripherals like Rob, the running pad, the light zapper, the U-force,(not by nintendo) all of which i had.

The ones i don't own:

Gameboy pocket: I thought my gameboy was enough. i didn't need a smaller one. Plus i heard it couldnt play all the games.
Virtual boy: I actually played with it and i didnt think it was terrible. it just gave me a headache so i decided not to buy it. Years later though i saw it on sale for 20 dollars and a few games but i decided not to get it.


So basically,.... Nintendo, what i'm saying is that i don't want to break up. But i think we should consider opening our relationship to new things. You will still get the majority of my money and my heart. Which ultimately, is what we both know you want. Microsoft is just getting my money. They're a whore. But i have to admit they are a damn good one. I have only played Halo 2 for a handful of hours but its given me a rush i havent felt on a game since...well probably the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker. (which you did a masterful job on...still the best game on the system) I just need to try different things like Xbox Live and a decent basketball game.

please dont hate me...

with love,
AJ